Working through Mommy Guilt During the Pandemic
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Managing work and home life seems more challenging than ever, especially for working moms. Fortune magazine describes the role that we working mothers have during the COVID crisis, “homeschooling kids and caring for sick or elderly relatives during the pandemic is ‘creating a double double shift’ [and] it’s pushing women to the breaking point.”
Can anyone relate? Combined with a pandemic, Today shares that “many women bear the brunt of an unpaid workload that includes caring for children, cleaning, cooking, doing laundry and myriad other tasks. Even with help from a partner, women tend to also carry a “heavy ‘mental load’ — the emotional and psychic burden of remembering to fill out school forms, pick up eggs, make doctors’ appointments and countless other little details that cloud many moms’ thoughts and keep them up at night.” Who’s up thinking through problems in bed, ladies?
To avoid burnout and feeling overwhelmed with the millions of choices related to our pandemic reality, I had to ask for help and lean on others. But let’s get real — it seems as though a working mother’s guilt is inevitable — pandemic or not.
our kiddos during recess from home
Instead of feeling guilty for working at the office, those feelings may have transformed into guilt that moms alone simply didn’t have the bandwidth to maximize their children’s time in quarantine. Teaching a kindergartner and fifth-grader online this spring proved to be a true team effort in our situation. My husband was the at-home teacher and I was principal/counselor/electives coordinator. A back-from-college sitter helped with art/science/PE activities, and quarantined neighbor kids became recess pals. This June, our household transitioned again as our kids completed school and started summer care.
Do I feel worried every day because we are sending them to care outside the house? Yes! Is our son thriving again being around peers in an environment that provides enrichment, socialization, faith, and learning components? Yes! Could we do as good of a job? Possibly, but it’s really difficult when working parents are also trying to be productive during the work day.
It’s tough now that life’s a big #pandemicmaybe for a while. If public relations has taught me anything, it’s about being people-focused. It’s about meeting peoples’ needs in the present with an eye towards the health of a future relationship together. Applying that same approach, here are questions you may need to ask yourself as a working parent.
What are the health concerns and needs of your family?
What are the financial concerns and needs of your household?
What are some options you have this summer to broaden your self-care and give your children safe out-of-home care?
Asking some smart questions could help you figure out what answers you may need to acquire. Those answers can help lead you through guilt and find solutions for your family’s current needs. It’s not easy, and we honor the complexity of each scenario. Reach out to professionals for advice and take it day by day. And remember, you are not alone in this. Ask around – what are fellow moms doing to cope? How are they managing this season? I’m always willing to share my tricks and remote work hacks that help us make it through the day.