Were you ever picked on as a kid? Or excluded from a game that others were chosen to play? I certainly was. If you relate, did a friend ever stand up for you or invite you onto their team? Or do you wish someone had? As an adult now, that support we gave or received as children is how I often explain what it means to be an ally.  

A Forbes.com article recently defined an “ally” as ”any person that actively promotes and aspires to advance the culture of inclusion through intentional, positive and conscious efforts that benefit people as a whole.”

Even the most ethical of professionals have some level of bias and “otherisms” that has to be unlearned or managed. Whether it’s racism, sexism, classism, colorism or another “ism,” I’ve found one thing to be true. We all have privilege in some contexts and are disadvantaged in others.

For example, my being a Hispanic/Latina has made me feel at an advantage in some circumstances, and at a disadvantage in others. In San Antonio where the majority of the population is Hispanic, it’s not unusual to see a Latina in the workplace. When I’m at a Latina Leadership Institute event, being a Latina helps me fit in naturally and being a part of that group is definitely a privilege. In the PR industry, being Latina gives me a unique perspective and can be a specialty area, but it can also be limiting when I’m thought of as only being able to serve Hispanic audiences or accounts.

Whether you work in social justice settings or not, you can be an ally in any environment if you remember the basics of what being a friend truly means. Showing up for people, taking risks to support others, setting realistic expectations for what you can give to the relationship, making time for the other, and working through conflicts are cornerstones of being a good friend according to this WebMD article. 

Find a Connection Point

As communicators, our job should be to invite others in and not cancel them out. To be an ally, first work to find common ground with colleagues. Even people who seem completely different can find some point of similarity -- their location, interests, gender or even roles (work department, parent, caregiver, etc.) After you have made a connection, your actions shouldn’t stop there. Find ways to extend a hand and share support or opportunities. Why is that important? Because the communication industry still needs allyship. A recent PR industry survey found that only 21% of PR pros are racially or ethnically diverse. Of that total, only 22% of employees were promoted in 2019. And of that 22%, less than a fifth of those promoted were racially/ethnically diverse. We’re still behind in terms of diversity, but I’m confident that being “tapped” or invited into the highly competitive world of public relations, advertising, marketing or communication is a smart way to help diversify and grow allyship in the industry. 

Use Inclusive Language

Another big step in allyship is learning how to be more inclusive in our communication. As we try to be more inclusive, people can struggle with the use of identifiers like pronouns, ethnicity, or race. If you get stuck, remember that most people just want to be identified by their first name. In fact, research shows we’re delighted by the use of our first names. 

When you use identifiers or require them of others, you run the risk of alienating your colleagues. Maybe they don’t use pronouns in their Zoom names because they prefer not to or may not know the meaning behind it. Maybe they don’t want to be called a “Latino” or “African American'' because they prefer “Black”, “Hispanic” or “Latinx.” Or they don’t want to be identified as their race or ethnicity at all. Our preferences can be different than imagined and should not be prescribed.

Rather than offending someone, just ask them their preferred name, memorize it and be mindful about the pronunciation and spelling. Like Rajiv said in “Inclusion Begins With People’s Names,” he is often called “Roger.” I can’t tell you how many times people have called me “Marissa” or “Michelle” (which I still find odd). 

Everyone Needs Allies

No matter how awesome you are at your job, you’ll need an ally. So get out there, be nice and make some friends! Even outside of your workplace, you should cultivate allies. As a PR pro, I work hard to be an ally to journalists and other colleagues. Let’s have an “abundance mindset” and recognize there’s enough business, opportunities or customers to go around. 

If you promote this concept in your workplace, allyship is a step towards showing you support social responsibility because it’s in alignment with diversity, equity and inclusion. It also can help your organization’s bottom line and even prevent lost revenue when employees start acting uncivil to one another, as referenced in this PRSA white paper on “Modeling Civility.”

The first step starts with YOU. Just like we teach children -- we have to first be a friend to make a friend.